rant

india, the seventh day.
walking into the mysore market, after 5 minutes being whisked into a
man's shop after looking at the piles of vibrant pigment on the
outside....he shows us how he makes incense....he shows us painted
wooden elephants made of rosewood....he shows us dozens of "essential
oils", smearing bits on our skin or blowing it towards us or putting
it up to the fan and having orange scent waft over our faces...he
gives us chai...we smell more and more, intoxicated by the
scents....from not wanting anything, suddenly i am writing down one
after the other that we want....up to 10...a free wooden box
included...and now the other guy in the shop has anklets....and we
spend $22 on the oils....and 10 on the anklets...and we ask about a
tailor...and they whisk us across the street and i have a silk sari
wrapped around me....touching fabrics...so much..... luckily carson
realizes we are hungry so we escape the fabric shop and sit down at
lunch and it all comes crashing down. wait, why did we just buy a
heavy box of 10 essential oils? and 4 silver anklets? are they really
essential oils? we take them back to our hotel and suddenly they all
smell like perfume...oh how could we have been fooled like this. why
were they so cheap to begin with? swindled! we are overwhelmed and
frustrated. we talk about it for far too long and take them back to
the store (are returns even possible here?) the guy who sold them to
us is gone, but supposedly he will be there tomorrow. we will try
again then. on the way men walk in front of us with wooden fans and
whistle instruments. a woman and her child follow me and she pulls on
my arm asking for money for food. they follow us across the street,
into the market, and then back out again. more fans, more instruments,
more bangles to buy, and traffic and busy streets, and how can i walk
away from a woman and her child, try to brush them off and ignore
them? do i give something or nothing? i don't want fans, i don't want
little wooden whistle instruments, stop pulling on me, stop following
and talking at me when i already said NO ten times! argh! one of the
days in india i have heard about, a lot to be learned in being clear
on what you want, on not buying something just because someone is
spending a lot of time with you, and of not feeling bad for saying no
(and perhaps learning to say no more clearly & effectively). some
days, i can't wait to explore more of india, and some days like this
moment i feel ready to leave tomorrow and go somewhere easy like
thailand or bali. ahhhh! i feel like screaming. the blue-walled
internet cafe is a welcome retreat.